Five years ago, I walked out of the New Realities Eating Disorder Recovery Centre for the last time. My weight was healthy, my mind stable and my eating habits "normal" — I was officially in recovery.
I remember those last few days in therapy being some of the most positive moments of my life. A calmness I hadn't felt since I was a kid had settled in my mind. I no longer cared about counting calories, taking one bite too many, or the number on the scale. I didn't think of food as my enemy, the way I had thought of it for years. I now considered it a source of nutrients that my body needed to function properly. A simple and obvious fact for many people, but not something I believed in the depths of my illness.
There was also something else profound I started believing in those final days.
That I could be someone great.
I had kicked, screamed, cried and fought this ugly disease, and had won! And now, I was free to be the strong, intelligent, loving person I always knew I was inside. I was going to be able to finish university, have an awesome career that I loved and be happy — nothing was going to stop me from reaching my goals.
My therapist was beyond ecstatic with my progress. She reminded me again and again of how proud she was of me for working so hard to beat the odds. Many of her other patients were not successful. Many of the other girls and women had been there much longer than me. Some were in the same bad shape as they were when they first arrived, and some were worse. A few didn't make it.
My therapist suggested I consider pursuing a career in psychology so I could eventually help others struggling with eating disorders. She said when I was a certified therapist, I was welcome to join the New Realities team. She herself had struggled with anorexia and had recovered, which was why she was so effective at helping me through my issues. I remember considering her suggestion, but in the end deciding that becoming a therapist wasn't for me. I knew in my heart that my career aspirations lied elsewhere, but I still had a sense that one day, I would have another opportunity to give back.
A year ago, that opportunity came. I had to come up with an idea for a major project as part of my diploma in Creative Communications. I decided to try and increase mental health awareness at Red River College and created an initiative called Mind it!
Mind it! was the perfect project for me to take on. It allowed me to blend my passion for mental health with my love for communications. I was able to take my personal experience with a mental illness, and channel it into creating positive conversations about mental health. In the process, I met people from all walks of life, from those who live with a mental illness to people who simply believe mental health is important, as well as a few who don't, but I think I may have convinced them otherwise.
This project was far more than a project to me, and I'm so thankful to everyone who helped me along the way.
To anyone reading this who is struggling with a mental health issue...
You are someone great.